Love the Holidays, But Missing FAM

So this time of year.....Fall, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas and all the wonderful smells and decorations and change in weather really get me excited. They also help me to get through the dreaded LONG winters here in Utah. Come Feb. and March I get really burned out of the winter and am so ready for spring.

But anyway, after Halloween ended this year....I got a little sad. Sad because me and my sister Em are the only family here in Utah now and sad because my family (minus me and Em) are all spending Thanksgiving and Christmas together and I can't travel because I am pregnant. I am sad because I need a family fix with my mom and dad and siblings. I guess Thanksgiving this year is just my family and Matt's parents and it just seems so small. And Christmas has alot more to get excited about with MY OWN LITTLE FAMILIES TRADITIONS, but I still am really missing my family right now. I am too afraid to travel, because of my pre-term labor scare with Cade and I hate being away from my doctor and our hospital......and traveling is expensive with all the kids now and driving 14 hours is not fun with a huge belly and crying kids. So I am stuck here in Logan for the next couple of months. I keep trying to tell myself I will get to see my family alot in the coming year when I have the baby and afterwards, but it just seems to far away. My sister Em in Utah has to work alot and she is 2 hours away, so it is not like I get to see her all that much either and then when the weather gets nasty here, neither of us feel comfortable driving in the snow. So winters get long.

I think what it is....is that I am pregnant and emotional and need the support of my sisters and my mom. I am even getting emotional writing this.....I love the sister weekends where we go out shopping or go to the craft shows or just make fun desserts here at the house, watch movies, talk, etc. And I know my mom loves stuff like that....she loves holiday outings and traditions and really gets into the holidays like I do. Matt is NOT so excited about holiday stuff, so I feel like I do alot of stuff alone or stuff with him and the kids, but he is not enjoying it.

Anyways, just wanted to vent....Love the holidays, but also miss my family. It reminds me of the college days, when the seasons would change and I could not wait till the semester was over so I could go home and enjoy the holiday with my family. Usually I am OK around the holidays, but I think being prego is just bringing out the emotional side and I have just been wishing I had my family close by.

And to top things off this morning....I kind of had another break down because of Corey....I was reminding her about dance today and she whined and said, "Mom don't sign me up for dance next year." I got sad again, because there goes my little girl out the window...slowly growing up and turning into a tomboy. Why can't she like frilly things like tutus and skirts and dance class? I guess I better just pretend I have a family of boys and quit feeling sorry for myself. Sorry, JUST VENTING! Maybe if I go shop a little I will feel better!